


Retail

by whizzerdbrown



Series: price-brown family [2]
Category: Falsettos - Lapine/Finn, The Book of Mormon - Parker/Stone/Lopez
Genre: F/F, F/M, M/M, Modern AU, Some Fluff, Some angst, and eventually charlotte, and work in retail together, cordelia and whizzer are best friends, cordelia and whizzer dated, more price-brown stuff!, more tags as i figure this out, mostly just funny, the price-brown family went to the same church as cordelia and her family, then came out, where they meet marvin, whizzer & cordelia live together
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-01-07
Updated: 2018-01-12
Packaged: 2019-03-01 18:38:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,983
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13300854
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/whizzerdbrown/pseuds/whizzerdbrown
Summary: The story of Cordelia and Whizzer, best friends and co-workers at a retail store in the local mall, and how they meet the loves of their lives through said store. Oh, and also some of their childhood and family drama. What a trip.





	1. prologue

Whizzer and Cordelia had been ‘dating’ for nearly four years now. Their ‘anniversary’ was next weekend. It was all a cover-up, though. Or, well, okay, the last year and a half was a cover-up. They started dating at the tender age of twelve, when neither one of them really knew what they were doing. 

They’d met through the church at a very young age, and grew up together as best friends. Whizzer’s parents and Cordelia’s parents always joked about them being a cute couple because of how well they got along, and Whizzer took it quite literally to where he turned around and asked Cordelia out one day when they were leaving Sunday mass. Cordelia, of course, accepted. They’d only kissed once, and that was the mark where their ‘relationship’ became a cover-up. 

“I can’t do this,” Whizzer had said, as they parted.

Cordelia actually smiled, but it was more nervous than anything. “Me neither. Whizzer, I–”

“I’m gay.”

The two had stared at each other for a long time, after Whizzer’s confession. They sat outside, in the backyard of Whizzer’s house. Whizzer’s siblings were busy helping the parents cook. Whizzer felt panic in his chest – this was the first time he’d come out to _anyone,_ and Cordelia was his best friend. If he was only allowed to keep one person in his life, it would smile be her. He started to stand up from the grass, before Cordelia grabbed his wrist.

“You are?” She asked.

Whizzer hesitated. “Yeah?”

Cordelia pulled him back down into the grass, in a tight hug. Whizzer was confused at this point. Once they parted, Whizzer saw the excited smile on her face. SHe lightly shoved his shoulder. “How long have you known?”

“I don’t know– Like, a month or–”

“Why did you wait so long to tell me, ya goof?” Cordelia questioned, giggling. “I am, too. Gay, I mean.”

“When were _you_ going to tell _me?”_ Whizzer asked. 

And since then, they had continued to be a couple, for their family’s sake and for the sake of keeping their sexualities hidden. It seemed to bring them even closer. 

But now, as the two sixteen-year-olds sat together in Cordelia’s bedroom, Whizzer was talking about ending the whole thing. “I’m going to tell them,” he was saying, laying on the floor and staring at the ceiling.

“Really?” Cordelia asked, trying to figure out her hair. It was really long at this point, a bit past her waist, and she wasn’t all that great at knowing what to do with it. “When? And how?”

Whizzer sighed. “I don’t know. Tonight, maybe, when I have to go back for dinner. I think I’ll just tell them. Nothing leading up to it. Just like when I told you.”

The blonde hummed in response, holding up her hair and staring at the mirror. Maybe she would just shave it all off. “I’ll tell my parents at dinner tonight, then, too.”

“You don’t have to.”

She shrugged. “I want to. I’ve been wanting to for a long time now. Ever since we told each other.”

He sat up, stretching out his arms and watching her mess with her hair. She was only making it worse, so he got up and went to help her. As he started braiding the long, wavy hair, he spoke. “Are you nervous?”

“Kind of,” She said, holding still for him to do her hair. He braided it often. “Are you?”

“Absolutely.” He admitted. “But I’m going to do it. It needs to be done.”

Cut to dinner that night. Whizzer sat at the table, between  his twin brother Kevin and their younger brother Jack, and almost completely straight across from his father. He’d been playing with his food the whole time rather than eating. 

Whizzer had told Kevin before dinner what he was planning on doing. “Don’t,” Kevin warned, “you know mom and dad won’t be okay with that.” But did Whizzer listen? No, of course he didn’t.

“I’m gay.” He stated, not looking up from his plate. His words seemed to ring out, followed by silence. Nobody said anything for the rest of the dinner, but Whizzer was promptly kicked out after everyone was done eating. 

He showed up at Cordelia’s house with his bags, not knowing what else to do. Cordelia’s father opened the door and he was quick to pull Whizzer inside, as if he already knew what had happened.

***

They were now twenty-two, and working on moving out of the house to live on their own. Whizzer had been staying with Cordelia’s family. Her parents had always loved him, and he liked them too. They had been more than happy to take him in after he had been kicked out, and they were incredibly supportive of both his and Cordelia’s sexuality.

“Look at you two,” Cordelia’s mom was saying, as the two in question exhaustedly dropped themselves on their new couch in their new shared apartment. “Growing up. Full blown adults.”

Cordelia laughed at her mom. “We’re still just as mentally childish as we were three years ago.”

“Maybe even more so,” Whizzer agreed.

Cordelia’s dad came in, too, putting the last box – a small one, that was filled with Cordelia’s cook books – on the floor. “We’re proud of you. Both of you. Finished college strong, starting a new job next week.”

Whizzer and Cordelia shared a look. College was fine, because they had still been at home. They didn’t have to stress about figuring out bills. They worked at fast food places and were able to supply for themselves for the most part, but Cordelia’s parents insisted on helping them all the time, whether they wanted it or not. And now, here they are. Twenty-two, and finally on their own. On their own, together. 

That night, after the parents had left and after Whizzer and Cordelia had finally arranged everything how they wanted it, they sat together in their new kitchen, eating Chinese takeout. “This is wild,” Cordelia said, shaking her head as she took a bite of her rice. “We’re actually doing all this.”

“Like real adults.” Whizzer added, grinning. 

“Ugh! Don’t say that. Adulthood is scary.”

He laughed at her. 

She flipped her long hair away from her face for the tenth time in five minutes. “I think the first decision that I’m going to make as a ‘true adult’ is to shave my head.”

Whizzer almost flipped his shit. “I’m sorry, no, you are not.”

“I can’t stand this,” Cordelia whined, holding her Rapunzel-esque up at Whizzer. “And we’ll be working at a store in the mall – it’ll get stuck in things.”

“Then I’ll _cut_ it, Delia. We are not _shaving_ your head.”

When they finished their food, they ended up together in the bathroom, Cordelia’s hair in a low ponytail, and Whizzer holding a pair of scissors. “Are you _sure_ you want to do this?”

Cordelia rolled her eyes. “I swear you’re more nervous than I am for this. Just do it.”

He sighed, and took a breath. He really was more nervous than she was. He _loved_ her long hair. But, if she wanted this… He started cutting, and shook his head as he heard her giggle in excitement.

When the deed was done, Cordelia’s hair was just neck length, and much wavier than it seemed to be before. Whizzer insisted on giving her bangs, too, because it ‘fit his aesthetic.’ Cordelia didn’t complain, she was just happy with how incredibly _light_ her hair was, and how it didn’t get tangled as easily and how she didn’t have to worry about it getting in her way. 

It proved to be especially helpful the next week, when she and Whizzer started their new job. They had, of course, heard the horror stories of being retail workers, but they instantly fell in love with it. With all of these newfound changes in their lives, both of them were happy and excited and willing to face whatever came next.


	2. work

If you had told Cordelia and Whizzer that they’d still be working in the same shop in the same mall two years from when they started, neither would have believed you. But here they were, two years and a few months later, still in that store. 

Cordelia was fixing a display of jeans that had gotten messed up by ignorant customers, and Whizzer was at her side, pretending to be doing something. In reality, he was just trying to avoid the female customers who always came to him because they knew he was gay so he _must_ be good at picking clothes. Which… yes, he was good at picking clothes, but he hated that it was only because everyone knew he was gay. And he was complaining to Cordelia about that. 

“Like, you’re gay. You’re good at picking clothes. And what do you get?” Whizzer continued on. “Ugly straight guys trying to hit on you.” 

“Yeah,” Cordelia agreed, with a shrug. “But that’s fine. I just wish they would stop asking me if I would have a threesome with them and their girlfriend.”

Whizzer groaned. “Gross.” 

She laughed. Both of their attentions were caught by the ding of the door opening, signalling a new customer. Whizzer cringed at the guy’s outfit, then patted Cordelia’s shoulder. “I’m going to go help this guy before I get attacked by a flurry of tiny straight girls.”

“Good luck!” She grinned at him, returning to straightening out the jeans. 

Whizzer grinned back, then headed over to the man at the door. “Hello!” He greeted. “What are we looking for today?”

The guy stared at him for a moment. “Clothes.”

“You’re in the right place,” Whizzer stated, holding a sarcastic comment back. It was still too early in his shift for that, even though all of his coworkers _loved_ watching him sass customers. “Can I, uh, help you find anything?”

The guy must have been able to sense Whizzer’s desperation. “Just recommend me some stuff, I guess. That’s your job, isn’t it?” 

Whizzer nodded. “My job is actually a lot more complicated than just helping people with poor fashion choice figure out what they’re doing, but, yes, I can do that.”

He said that it was too early for the sarcasm but he just couldn’t help himself. The other guy actually smirked at that.

“What’s your name?”

Whizzer pointed to his nametag wordlessly. 

“Is that your real name?”

“That’s what the name-tag says.” Whizzer raised his eyebrows.

The guy just hummed in response. “I’m Marvin.”

Whizzer decided, again, to be a smartass. “Is that your real name?”

The guy – Marvin – was still smirking. “It’s what’s on my birth certificate.”

“Well, Mister Marvin, if you’re wanting _good_ clothes, we ought to do something more than just stand here.” Whizzer pointed out, and then Marvin nodded.

“Lead the way, Whizzer.”

They passed by Cordelia as Whizzer lead him through the store. Cordelia always grinned at him, and he winked at her.

For some reason, Whizzer had assumed that this would be easy. Marvin had a horrid fashion choice, had no idea at all what he was doing, and seemed willing to let Whizzer pick out the _good_ stuff for him. Whizzer had never been more wrong in his entire life. Everything that Whizzer held up, Marvin turned down. Anything that Whizzer suggested, Marvin ignored. The few things that Marvin himself pointed out were hideous. Whizzer was standing there with Marvin for hours. Marvin, really, seemed more interested in flirting and teasing rather than the clothes.

“This one?”

“No.”

“This one?”

“Nope.”

“You aren’t even _looking.”_

Marvin glanced at the sweater Whizzer was holding. “No.”

Whizzer groaned, almost throwing the sweater across the room before remembering that it would be himself that would have to clean it up, so he carefully folded it and put it back where it went. “Look, I have other things to be doing for this job. I can’t just spend my whole shift getting every single item in this store denied. If you want more crappy clothes like the ones you’re currently wearing, then you can go to Goodwill. There’s one in this area, too, just a few blocks away.”

Marvin raised his eyebrows. “Alright. Fine. I will.”

And Whizzer watched with a bit of surprise as Marvin turned and left the store. Almost immediately, Cordelia was at Whizzer’s side.

“What was _that?_ He just _left?_ You aren’t letting him steal anything, are you?”

“No, Cordelia. Obviously not.” Whizzer rolled his eyes. “He’s horrible. He declined _everything.”_

Cordelia sighed. “He seems to have a sort of, um… _acquired_ taste.”

That made Whizzer laugh. “A horrible one. He’s horrible. I hate him, Cordelia.”

“You hardly know him.”

“I know that he’s horrible.”

Cordelia was laughing by now.

“I sent him to Goodwill,” Whizzer added on. “He’ll get his stupid gross-looking grandpa clothes for, like, a dollar a piece. What a bargain.” 

“Goodwill has some good clothes,” she pointed out, with a small shrug. “You may have to wash them over and over to get the grandma perfume off, and you may have to renovate them a little bit, but they can be nice.”

Whizzer shrugged. “Yeah. Well, he won’t do that. And he probably won’t be back anyway, so, it doesn’t even matter.”

If only Whizzer had known just how _wrong_ he was.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> charlotte will be in the next chapter, i promise! and there’ll be more with marv & char’s friendship next chapter as well!


	3. shopping

Charlotte looked up from her laptop as the door opened. Marvin came in, seeming in a bit more of an irritated mood than usual. 

“Make yourself at home,” she called, sarcastically. 

They didn’t live together. They had been roommates in college, but neither one of them came to like it very much. The two met in high school, through a debate team. They were often on opposite sides, and usually ended up debating each other head on. They actually became friends, though, when they’d gotten put on the same team. Marvin and Charlotte were the only two who actually seemed to _like_ debating. They both put in so much effort, and were so passionate about winning. It worked much to their advantage. 

Marvin lived in the same apartment complex, though, and had a room not too far away from Charlotte’s. He also had her spare key, and she had his, so they’d often just show up unannounced like this. 

“Two questions,” Marvin stated. 

Charlotte assumed this meant that her work would have to wait, so she set her laptop aside with. slightly overdramatic sigh. “Yes?”

“First, how do you dump your girlfriend because you found a guy that you’re interested in? Second, will you come clothes shopping with me tomorrow?”

“What?” Charlotte raised an eyebrow. “Okay, first of all, you don’t have to tell Trina it’s because you found a guy. Just tell her you want to break up. And second, you don’t even like shopping.”

Marvin sighed. “Yeah, okay, I know that. I met the guy there. And I can’t go back alone, because he got mad at me and told me to go to Goodwill.”

Charlotte burst out laughing. 

“It’s not funny–“

“It kinda is, Marv,” Charlotte snickered. “Goodwill!”

 

Marvin got payback from her laughing at him by dragging her to that same store only a day later. Luckily, it actually wasn’t that _hard_ to drag her along. She didn’t actually have anything to do that day, and watching Marvin get rejected (again) by some retail worker guy would be pretty entertaining. 

When they stepped in Marvin instantly spotted Whizzer. He was busy fixing some display. 

“That’s him,” Marvin pointed out. He was about to say something else, but a girl – actually, it was the girl that Whizzer had been talking to the other day – came up to them. 

“Hi! I’m Cordelia,” the girl greeted, giving Marvin a smile. “Can I help you today?”

“Actually,” Marvin said, pushing Charlotte forward. “You can help _her.”_

“I don’t need–“ Charlotte started, before pausing and looking over the pretty blonde girl. “Actually… Yeah. I’m Charlotte.”

Cordelia’s smile seemed to get brighter, if possible. “Charlotte.. A very pretty name. Oh, uh– What are you, um, looking for?”

Charlotte hesitated, before deciding to go smooth. “I think I’ve found it right here.” 

Cordelia’s cheeks went pink, but she was giggling. “Are you flirting with me?”

“Maybe.”

“This is the first time that a girl has ever flirted with me here,” Cordelia stated. 

Charlotte raised her eyebrows. “Oh yeah? I bet it’s a bunch of straight white guys.”

Cordelia laughed. “Yeah!”

It was only then that both of them noticed Marvin’s absence. He had already moved on, and was bothering Whizzer at the jackets display. 

“I’m sorry about him,” Charlotte stated, with a sigh. “You’re more than welcome to kick him out.”

Cordelia snickered. “He’s fine. Whizzer would say otherwise, but I think he’s just fine. Has a bit of a… not-so-good fashion taste, but he’s alright.”

Charlotte grinned. “Dresses like an old man in the ‘40s, but he means well. Sometimes.”

It was Cordelia’s turn to be smooth. “I think he’s going after Whizzer. Maybe we could all go on a double date after Whiz and I get off work?”

“Yeah,” Charlotte nodded. “I’d like that. And I’m sure Marvin would, too.”

——

_“What?”_

Cordelia nodded. “I know, I know – but it might be fine! Maybe he’s cool when he’s not talking about clothes.”

“I doubt it!” Whizzer complained. “I’m happy for you, Cordelia, I _really_ am. But did you seriously have to lump me in, with _him?_ He wont even know what to wear.”

“I’m sure Charlotte will help him!” Cordelia stated, grabbing Whizzer’s hand. “Please, Whiz? Just this one time. If it doesn’t go well and you don’t like him, we don’t ever have to do this again, I promise. Just give him a chance…”

Whizzer huffed. “Fine. I’ll go.”

“Yes!”

“But! You owe me.”

Cordelia smiled at him. “Only if it doesn’t go well.”

“And it won’t.”

Cordelia could only hope that he’d be wrong.


End file.
